Book written by Juleen Anderson
Chapter 4: Health is Wealth
Day three and the dam broke, the tears fell followed by an intense need to just give up. I just wanted the suffering to end and the pain to go away. Not one to give up, I started googling about stopping dependent drugs cold turkey and was greeted with a warning after warnings after warning. Every medical journal, article, and chatroom advised against stopping cold turkey. Those that survived going cold turkey documented their symptoms and how close they came to dying. The stories were crazy, but it was enough to frighten me into action. I started researching safe and effective ways of breaking a sleeping pill addiction. Most articles mentioned weaning off the pills as opposed to stopping all at once. Not once did it cross my mind to seek professional help, that is how messed up my head was at the time. On day four with only three hours of sleep coupled with increased hallucinations, lethargy, and headaches I lost all sense of self. The line between mental and physical pain blurred, I couldn’t tell the difference between physical aches and mental agony. I needed help. But where do I start and how do I go about seeking the help I so desperately needed?
Chapter 8: Home is where the heart is
They say home is where the heart is meaning no matter where you are, your home will always be the place where you feel the deepest affection, an emotional pull. Home is not a physical dwelling but a feeling of comfort and love that helps you feel settled and at peace. All of that is true but when you move to a foreign country, the perception of home is both physical and emotional, a dwelling that comes close to the feeling of the love you left behind. While the emotional aspect is most important and will eventually shape your feelings of inclusivity, the physical aspect bears more weight in its immediacy. So, when I got to Canada, I was happy to have a place to lay my head for a while and then build that bridge to emotional satiety. I am eternally grateful to the people who offered me a place to stay until I was able to sprout legs and stand on my own. I considered myself to be one of the fortunate few that had a prior arranged place to sleep and eat at least until I finished school. However, while I am grateful, I must be transparent, giving you guys an accurate account of settling in Canada. While I had a place to stay, the situations I found myself in made me question at the time if I was actually at an advantage or disadvantage. It took a considerable amount of effort to find that “physical” aspect of home and as I type this I am still searching for that emotional bond.
Chapter 9: Fast and the furious
I got my car in June 2019 and by October it all went to shit. I was happy, and a bit content, and life felt a little less burdensome. More importantly, I felt progressive, I could see and even feel the growth, a job in my field, fewer parking issues, and a car. I grumbled about my status a little less. But like everything else in my life, the storm is always lingering on the outskirts like a clandestine lover, awaiting the perfect moment to roll through and destroy everything I’ve built. And every single time I was unaware and unprepared to deal with its brutality and aftermath. So, as I drove home from work on a stuffy autumn day, high in spirits and on top of my progressive pedestal, the last thing I envisioned was my car being trapped between two fences after veering off onto a basketball court. It all happened in a blur, a kind of outer body nightmare where you recall how you felt but not the gory details.
I cant wait to share my experiences with you guys.
Be sure to get your copy on December 4th.
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