“Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.” by George Addair

Most of you are currently trying to pin point areas of your life, situations and experiences to ascertain if this statement is relatable or irrelevant. Some of you may utter the words “Fear? I am not scared; I would never let such an emotion bar me from achieving my goals”. But most of us have encountered at least one situation or experience that we have locked away in our mental closet, never to revisit, unlock or touch. Fear is such a powerful emotion that chosen men and women of God have stumbled, cowered and failed in the face of trepidation, alarm and fright. Fear often exhibits characteristics similar to safety and self-preservation and this results in us staying away from things we assume will cause us harm or some form of discomfort. However, our inaction could result in real damage, costing us more than we bargained for. Humans are predisposed to avoid situations, emotions and other dynamic factors that make us uncomfortable or challenges us to step outside the box. Instead of using the situation as an opportunity to grow, learn and theorize, we make excuses or dismiss.

Looking back, I realize, I spent so much time living in fear; fear of failure disappointment, rejection and pain. As a result, I missed out on several opportunities that would've positively altered the course of my life. Despite this revelation I still struggle sometimes with taking the next. There are moments where I become paralyzed with fear, specifically decisions that would greatly impact my life and inner circle. Because of the unknown variables surrounding certain decisions, I rely on excuses propelled by self-doubt and either give up entirely or procrastinate hoping the issue would resolve itself or fizzle out. There is a passage in the Bible that speaks to fear - “For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7). I use this particular passage as my motivator, confidence booster, facts verifier and reality checker. Most times when I find myself in a place where fear seeks to topple the progress I have made and the growth to come, I reach for my Bible and engage with this passage. I allow the scripture to re-build my faith and strengthen my core; to move forward but to also replenish my strength and mental fortress when things don’t go as planned. To understand that life throws curve balls even when you're the greatest hitter on the field and having the greatest season - Juleen. To value the lessons and apply them when the need arises. Sounds like a win-win to me.

What keeps us from facing our fears?

Rejection, failure, ridicule, criticisms, starting over and the list goes on. All of these variables are mental blockades that halt or prevent us from going after what we want or deserve. Accompanying these factors are excuses, negativity, defeatism and cynicism; kryptonite to growth, success, progression and self-awareness. These not only clip your wings preventing you from soaring to new heights but paralyze you from taking the next step. Mentally you tell yourself “I'm not good enough, I'm not ready, I'm just too average or I’m not worthy”. Self-sabotage takes root thereafter, reinforcing feelings of self-doubt and indecision, you falter and retreat and the cycle repeats itself in every facet of your life. Additionally, when the dust settles and the missed opportunities and its impact becomes obvious, you lay blame on your situation, past, experiences, boss, parents, coworkers, bad luck and others in order to deflect from the real culprit – YOURSELF; not willing to fully acknowledge that you allowed fear to pluck a life changer out of your hands.

Fear of Growth

Many times, we fall into a phase of comfortability and shun anything that would want to shake up our lives and infiltrate the familiar pattern and cycle we are contented with. You are employed with an ok boss and work environment, decent enough salary to pay the bills and leave a little for entertainment and other miscellaneous, you are surrounded by friends and family with most being supportive, you are grateful, you are comfortable. But then an opportunity presents itself; could be a new business venture, a higher paying salary at a different company, a move to another location, all pointing towards growth and further success but you fear rocking the boat, changing the course, sliding out from under the blanket. Instead of growth, development and success, you see unknown variables, failure, change and liability. You spend time fearing the journey, failing to see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - Juleen. You settle, back into your “comfort zone” not realizing that your comfort has become your enemy, slowly draining your energy and drive to be better.

Dealing with Fear

Acknowledge the Fear - The first step in dealing with conflicts, emotions and situations is acknowledgement. We need to acknowledge and admit that we are afraid; we fear the possible outcomes of a decision and or path. This act of recognition and acceptance will then generate a level of awareness and appreciation needed to counter that fear.

Address the Fear – Take measures which can include critical thinking skills, practical problem-solving methods, weighing the pros and cons and contingency plans.

Affirmation – Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity” - Yehuda Berg. Replace self-sabotaging talks with words of self-affirmation. Adopt a mindset focused on endless possibilities and prospects; creating an environment of positivity and transformative change. Be kind to yourself even if you fail. Failure does not mean you’ve lost; failure is the tool you gain to ensure you’ll win” - Juleen Anderson.

Disarming the Fear – Put your plan into motion and kick fear to the curb. Recapture the reigns of your life and steer your journey into what you deserve.

Taming you fear does not happen overnight and requires patience, fortitude and vulnerability. It is a constant battle of will; will to be more than “comfortable”

“Your dreams and fears are neighbors; this is one instance where you’ll want to get to know both.”