“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ― Lao Tzu

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend where I expressed my thoughts and feelings regarding my personhood. The conversation was surprisingly balanced as I touched on both the negative and positive aspects of how I looked, felt and behaved. During the exchange, my confidant mentioned that I radiated a type of glow that was so encompassing she couldn’t help but revel in it. Prior to that, a young lady sent me a WhatsApp messaging alluding to the same thing, referencing that she loved how self-aware and “self-loved” I looked. Both occurrences caught me off guard as I did not realize such an obvious and clearly noteworthy change. I dug deeper and the reveal hit me like a welcome sunshine on a gloomy day; a few months prior I had resolutely decided to love and accept all of me; flaws, faults and limitations.

Accepting all your attributes both positive and negative can be such a life changing phenomenon. Failure to accept your shortcomings especially in certain areas of your life can result in limited growth and development. One of those limitations is the impact it has on your confidence, which can prevent you from utilizing your strengths and weaknesses to reach your full potential. Persons who acknowledge and accept their flaws fare better in this race we call life. They are more resilient to unhelpful criticisms and will take the risk necessary for growth. They are also aware of the parallels that exist; accepting their deficiencies but continuing to work towards self-love and improvement.

But what is self-acceptance, really? And why are some people keener to accept all that they are? How can accepting my inadequacies and imperfections help me in the long run? How do I start? How do I cultivate and maintain it? Why all the 21 questions? Well, it’s necessary if we are to dig deeper into such a subjective and impressionistic topic. Self-acceptance is the act of accepting and embracing all your personality traits; the good, bad and ugly. This includes your physical, mental and emotional attributes. Self-acceptance means recognizing your value beyond societies unexceptional standards and justifications.

In previous issues I detailed my experience with self-love and acceptance. I shared with you guys how I use to view my features and other attributes, how I felt I needed to change my appearance to be accepted by peers, coworkers and even family members. As I grew older and adopted a mature scope of thinking and outlook on life, I started discovering ways in which I could love myself a little more every day. The journey to get to where I am now wasn’t easy; wasn’t paved in ceramic tiles and glossy painting. It took prayers and daily affirmation to maintain the path I knew would make me happy and content. There were days where I prayed asking God to grant me the sight of love and acceptance; to help me see myself through his eyes.

As I sit here writing this, going down memory lane, I realize God does answer prayers and he is utterly invested in his creations. He grants me the opportunity every day to wake up so I can look in the mirror and see his wondrous works and perfection. I fall in love with myself a little bit each day, celebrating all my qualities and achievements.

Many of us struggle with self-acceptance; too many if we are being honest. We hide behind false narratives and precepts; artificial and man-made ideas and features promising perfection. We reject the “oddities” society purports to be unacceptable, debasing the very foundation that sets us apart from everyone else. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean accepting our negative qualities and giving up on self-improvement. Through the irony, self-acceptance can actually help us work towards improving aspects of ourselves we are least comfortable with. Self-acceptance is building better habits.

To Be Cont.