You never realize how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have - Bob Marley

The strength I possess today both in character and actions is the result of being put into situations where being strong was the better choice. I am a stronger woman today because I had no choice but to be strong. Life comes at us fast and sometimes we face a situation where the options are either conceding and accepting defeat or being strong and moving forward.

Whenever the occasion calls for it and I am called upon to share my stories of tribulations and triumph, the audience in their astonishment offer words of comfort and commentary such as  “Oh my God you are so strong.” or “I wish I was as strong or as good as you are.” I smile not because of the high praises or the pedestal they now placed me on but more so at the brittle fabrication of victory and triumph. If they only knew that the choice to press on was the best alternative in a sea of failures and futile substitutes. When faced with circumstances giving up has never been an option but rather a temporary space filler while I process the varied emotions of swimming or sinking.

Giving up will always be an alternative option but it should never be your choice. However, one should not feel ashamed if we have chosen that option on several occasions because guess what? Life is hard and it gets even harder. No matter how many trials and tribulations we face it never gets easier and the decisions we must make never get simpler. We are taught that adversity brings forth wisdom and that strength in the face of hardship will be rewarded; if you love others, they will not abandon you, or if you trust the process good things will come your way. These teachings make a soul-crushing situation even more difficult while inspiring you to choose strength over weakness. In a much more succinct wording “life often has a poorly calibrated compass that fails to point North. Instead, it points us down the longest and hardest road … where being strong is the only viable option”. I can recall having thoughts of defeat during some of my most challenging situations. I remember thinking death would be better than the pain I was experiencing at the time. I caved under some of the challenges life threw my way until I realized that death was not an option I welcomed. I dug deep within to find among the rubble of pain, little specks of strength displaced among failure and weakness. In those moments those little specks shun bright, and I knew that giving up was not a viable option, the only alternative is to push through.  

While I am emboldened by my circumstances and my words may flow as sweetly as honey from a jar, self-affirmation, positivity and the constant reassurance of who I am in Christ don’t always work. Somedays I feel I am moving backward, thinking I am taking ten steps forward but, I have taken fifteen steps back. During these times of doubt, discouragement rears its ugly head and I think, well “what is the point”. Can anyone relate? Can anyone relate to life coming at them at the speed of a category 5 hurricane threatening to destroy everything they’ve built? If you can then you understand that these situations make you question everything including the existence of God and his intentions toward you. You ask yourself; Does He really love me? How can a God profess his love to me and allow the most devastating things to happen? What have I done to deserve this OR what kind of sin could I have committed to cause life to hit me so hard? Can you feel me? Business failures, relationship failures, career disappointments, and financial ruin.

BUT

Then you are ok, and the battle has been fought and won, the chaos and pain now a distant memory. Why did you win? Why are you continuously victorious? Simple, you choose to utilize the better alternative given to you, you chose strength. Life saddles us with difficulties and hardship because well that’s life (smooth and bumpy) but it forces us to upgrade to a better version of ourselves. It presents hardships to fix the bugs and security issues in our character and personality. It forces us to realize our strength and thereby our full potential in overcoming adversity. It prepares us for an even harder battle where we don’t hesitate in choosing the better alternative; being strong. Choosing strength means choosing life and embracing the warrior within. You are able to recognize that weakness is parallel to strength knowing that you have experienced what it feels like to be weak, helpless, and powerless. This recognition allows you to wake up the next morning with a more positive outlook and empowers you to dig deep within and find that little energy you have left when you feel drained. After experiencing weakness and choosing to be strong you acknowledge that things will get better and your actions thereafter align with a positive perspective. You know that the storm no matter how destructive will die down eventually.

Word to the Wise

If being strong is your only option, accept your vulnerability, because vulnerability does not mean weakness. Rather, it is an awareness that sometimes we need to stop and just breathe. Being strong doesn’t mean ignoring your anger or forgiving so much that you lose your dignity. Being strong also doesn’t mean imposing your own perspective on others and trying to control everything. What makes us weak is hiding from the world. If we worry about keeping up our pretty exterior to keep up the appearance of being strong, we’ll widen the gap between what we are and what we show. Therefore, one secret of resilience is being genuine, all the time. Because you may be strong, but at the same time you need to ask for help when you need it. Because joining forces with people is smart.

May I encourage you to never give up because the best is yet to come and you don’t want to miss out on it! You may be going through a difficult time now, suffering through circumstances that seem like they’ll never end but hang in there the storm will pass and your rainbow will appear.

Choose strength, be strong!