“My existence on this earth is pointless.” A constant thought I wrestled with during my darkest and challenging hours. I struggled with the expectations I set for myself as well as those placed upon me by others, expectations I hadn’t met. Taking on the weight of everyone’s hopes and desires challenged my identity and self awareness, the lines between who I was and what was expected of me blurred. The comparisons between what I had accomplished versus those around me made me feel insignificant. I wondered about my existence, what was the point if all I could produce were disappointments. That sort of misery translated into blame; blaming everyone for the state I had fallen into. My cohorts around me had college and career plans, thinking ahead and planning for their future, but I had no clue what I wanted my future to look like, I felt lost. The issue was compounded by my community’s culture; their negative labelling of young women and callous dismissal of our hopes and dreams played a role in how I felt during that time.

The effects you might ask? My self esteem plunged and I quickly developed an inferiority complex. I was dealing with future expectations and my community’s criticisms and lack of empathy. Even with the whispers and the looks I still didn’t have a clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life; what career path I should take. I disliked my hometown but more so I hated my indecisiveness. It took several years and many epiphanies but I was able to block the negativity and the labels. I developed tunnel vision towards my goals and objectives. I silenced both internal and external voices that threatened by inner peace and stability and focused my attention on self worth, self love and self expectations. I dedicated most of my time to pursuing my interests and tuned out the critics who made it their duty to inform me my dreams were unrealistic and unattainable. I stepped out of the box I was placed in, the confinement did more harm than good. No more wasting time trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations, it was my time now.

Real happiness comes from being content with yourself and you can take the below into consideration as you traverse this thing called life.

Drop your worries

Worrying weighs down your mind, body, and spirit. Try to find comfort in the fact that everything happens for a reason and things will fall into place at the right time.

Impress only yourself

The need to impress and meet the expectations of society is the most common cause of self loathing. Aim to live up to the expectations you set for yourself, devoid of societal pressures and labels. The key to happiness comes from your own accomplishments based on the goals you set for life.

Embrace your unique qualities and talents

We are all different and blessed with varying talents and unique abilities. Figure out what you’re good at. Cultivate those qualities. Find a reason(s) for your existence.

Trust the process/journey

When you determine your goals and objectives, life presents you with obstacles. Be encouraged and stay on the path. Do not be deterred. Believe in yourself and believe in your decisions. Stay positive and keep moving forward.

Be patient

There is no guideline or rule book for this thing called life. Set your timelines and deadlines but don’t lose hope if you fall short. Life is not a race. Be comforted in the knowledge that you are exactly where you need to be at that moment. Put in the work and wait for the results.

Surround yourself with positivity and likeminded people

Limit the time you spend with people who are consistently pessimistic, negative and judgmental. Surround yourself with positive and inspirational influences. Find methods and activities that inspire motivation, consistency and progression.

The intent of this publication:

To let you know that you are worth it. Let nothing question your worth